Saturday, August 25, 2012

You are my Father


 

Daddy,, 
It doesn't matter where I run, You're there for me.
It doesn't matter what I've done Your love is for me.
You wipe away the tears, You lift me when I fall.
My life is safe by the mercy of Your grace.
It doesn't matter where I go, You walk with me.
It doesn't matter when I fall, You cover me.

You are my Father. 
My provider.
You are my deliverer.  
Your mercies embrace me, surround me.
Through your everlasting love.

Father I worship You.
I know Your love is for me.
Your love is for me.
FOREVER 

 

a short letter to you.

Hey.
I miss you.
Don't you know how hard to hold that feeling? To not say it like we used to say?
Everything change. Ya. I know.

I know what you've been through. Although, sometimes I can't read your mind or even feel like I don't know you. But I believe you are struggling too,now.
Don't give up!
Whatever happen in your family now, just believe God already has a beautiful plan for you. Mungkin emang kita ga bisa liat sekarang, ga ada hal yang rasanya bisa disyukuri, but just believe in Him. Like what I believe in God, now. I don't know apa rencana Dia sekarang. Sangat-sangat ga bisa baca dan nebak maunya Tuhan. But I trust Him. Whatever will happen in the future, I know He has an awesome plan for me, for you, and for us

You know, when you were talking, i just being quite. I don't know what to say. 
I promise you nothing. Aku ga brani lagi ngebayangin hal-hal yang jauh yang susah aku raih, karna takut aku akan kecewa (lagi) waktu aku ga dapetin apa yang aku mau. Too much expecting is killing me. 
Now, I surrender all to God. I let Him take over my life. It's so much easier. You should try it :)

Oh how I miss us! When everything feels so real. 
I believe 'that day' will come. The day when you'll pay all my tears. 

Hey, I don't hate you. May be I did. But I forgave you. 
And I still love you,A. Like God always do to you. :)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Update about me.


Hey, readers!
Wanna know my life now?
I'm much better now. :)
I know the secret of having a victorious life. :D
You wanna know? Ada banyak hal sih yang buat hidup gw berubah, First and the important thing in this life is because I have God.  I have Jesus who take away all my pain, fight for me, being there every single second for me,  and He collect all my pieces of my broken heart and replaces it with the new one. :) When I keep my eyes on Him, instead of looking what people do and say, I feel serenity.  o:)

Oh God, how i Thank You for the people around me..
Thanks for my family who always be my home.
And a big thank to send me some angles (Devils inside the angels) hahaha.. My best friend ever!  Yoan and Cindy. They always there for me, never tired of my pointless drama, yang ampe harus nahan pengen muntah dan jadi bikin dosa tiap denger 'mreka yang ga boleh disebut namanya'. haha.. Oh I love them so much God! 
I'm sorry girls, I've disappointed you,  i was blind. But,what i promised you yesterday, I will keep it. Because I also promise to myself and to my God. Well,, the rest of it, just pray for me. hehe..*hugs*
And all my best friend and good friends who always support me. I Thank God for you guys.. :)
And last but not least is my community. My mentors and my mantee(s). Their prayers are my fence. 

Blessed them Lord.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

LOVE Himself is on my side



I thank God for all the wonderful people He has specifically placed in my life. They are an amazing source of encouragement. However, I won’t deny the fact that they are weak too. They will leave someday. They will disappoint and be disappointed.

That’s why I am grateful that God is my Father, my Savior, my Lover, my Caretaker, my Provider, my EVERYTHING. When the time comes that I have to be alone, and am expected to stand on my own, I won’t be afraid because I know that the Lord will stand by me. One day, I will have to figure out things alone and plan my life ahead of me, but I won’t worry. Regardless of how old I am, or the number of years that have passed, I will still remain as God’s little child. I still remain as His treasure. Nothing will make Him relinquish His hold upon me. I am protected, precious and blessed. :D I am held tenderly, abundant and satisfied. That is because a relationship with God never becomes common, never expires, and never becomes ‘normal.’ It grows deeper, deeper and deeper.

I won’t be ashamed. I won’t be afraid. LOVE Himself is on my side. Whatever I may be facing now, I know that nothing is too hard for Him, and He won’t fail me. He doesn’t want to bring me down. That’s how much Jesus loves me. He is my Shepherd and companion forever.

I'm tired, Dad.


 


  

God,,
I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired, Dad.
Just take away all the pain, Dad.
I just wanna rest in You.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm sorry for you

I know God is my defender.
Bener-bener wow banget ama cara kerja Tuhan.
Emang belom smuanya kliatan sih. Tapi gue yakin Tuhan pasti bela anakNya.  Dan Dia ga akan pernah permaluin anakNya.  And yeah, it's me! I'm His daughter :D
Oh God.. makin penasaran nih ama kisah hidup Gaby ke depan akan gimana.. hahahaa

Anyway, I'm sorry for you. (just if you read this blog)
I don't know what was going on you both. But, everything has their consequence. 
Apa yang kita tabur itu yang akan kita tuai. :) 
I never know you. But you give a huge impact to my life. Thanks. 
Be tough, girl :) We deserve a better one. 




Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let love out



I forgive because I was not designed to keep that resentment inside of me. It only makes things harder. I know, since the day I accepted Christ, I am being transformed to be more and more like Him. Thus, forgiveness comes out naturally from me. Love comes out naturally from me. These are not born out of our efforts, though. They are fruits, because we abide in Christ. I don’t wanna hold back the love I have received. I'm not gonna hold back that forgiveness. It was meant to be released.
God is taking away the anger, sweeping out the guilt, and driving out the fear. I know that I may not be used to these being absent, but I'm better off without them I know God is replacing them with hope, love, compassion, kindness and faith.
I forgive. Not because it is an obligation, but because it is a necessity. This great love that I have received from Jesus can never be caged inside. It won’t be stuck inside me, and just for me. It has to come out. I am not just a storage, I am also a channel. I don’t want to miss the privilege.
 Let love out.

Monday, August 13, 2012

LOVE is KASIH

LOVE
What is love? Cinta? Kasih?
Apa itu kasih? Bagaimana cara mengasihi?

Kasih itu sabar, kasih itu murah hati,ia tidak cemburu
Ia tidak memegahkan diri dan tidak sombong.
Ia tidak melakukan yang tidak sopan dan tidak mencari keuntungan diri sendiri.
Ia tidak pemarah dan tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain.
Ia tidak bersukacita karena ketidakadilan tetapi karena kebenaran.
Ia menutupi segala sesuatu, percaya segala sesuatu, sabar menanggung segala sesuatu.

Wow. That what Bible said.
Dan gue mau banget punya kasih yang kayak gitu.
Gampang ga? Ga gampang sama sekali!
Hari-hari ini gue lagi coba belajar praktekin itu smua.
It's hard, But thanks God, just because of His grace I can love people around me, and of  course to love A.
Dan satu lagi yang gue belajar. love is forgive

Yang paling ga gampang adalah pas kita denger apa kata dunia, yang bilang, kenapa harus maafin? buat apa sih masih harus bersikap baik lagi ama orang yang udah nyakitin kita? ga inget apa ama yang mreka udah lakuin? orang kayak gitu tu keenakan kalo kita maafin terus, ntar cuma manfaatin kamu doang. and so on...
Ya emang sih, tu bener smua. Rasanya mau banget lakuin apa yang dunia lakuin. 
Benci, marah, maki-maki, balas dendam, atau kalo perlu bunuh aja tu orang yang tega sakitin kita *ekstrim* hahaha.
But then i realize, I'm not from this world
I live with God's grace. It means I should love with God's love too.
Bahkan Tuhan bilang, ampunilah musuhmu, dan berdoalah bagi mereka. *crazy*
All because of God. Tanpa Tuhan, gue ga akan bisa mengampuni. Tanpa Tuhan, gue juga ga akan bisa mengasihi.

I've been hurt. And honestly, I don't know who to trust anymore in this messy world. Then, I lay my life in God and surrender all. I know, just Jesus who really care about me. His love is real. Thanks God.

Thanks for all the people around me, who is real and fake, who stay forever or just come for a moment. I learn a lot from them. I know, everything is good. And all that people make me stronger now.
Teach me to love and love and love all the way like what You do to me,Lord.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I Thank You For The Broken Heart

 




Everything I know about love
I learned from you, from you
And everything I know about pain
I learned from you, you

You were my only, you were my first
You showed me lonely, and you took me in when I was hurt
But the most important thing you ever gave me
Was the one that hurt the most

So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar, oh
‘Cause if it wasn’t for you, I might forget
How it feels to let go, and how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart


I still remember when you called
And said that he didn’t mean anything
How could you expect me to look at you
The same way

You were my only but not my last
You showed me lonely, and you made me put you in the past
But the most important thing you ever gave me
Was the one that hurt the most


So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar, oh
‘Cause if it wasn’t for you, I might forget
How it feels to let go, and how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart


And every time I find myself alone in pieces
I find myself
I’ll just remember when you hurt me and I made it


So thank you for the broken heart
And thank you for the permanent scar
Cause if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here
With the love of my life, all my pain disappear
I’ve come so far
So thank you for the broken hear


I thank you, I thank you
For the broken heart
Oh yeah oh, for the broken heart


I’ll never have a broken heart again

*Thank You For Broken Heart - Big City

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Remember me?

Remember me? 
You made me feel like I was your everything but then you left me easily like I was nothing.
How can you do that?
Don't you remember what have you said? 
I remember all those crazy things you said, what we discussed, and all dreams that we made, and now you just left them running through my head?
Don't you remember everything you feel about me? all those memories? 
you forget them?
How can?! tell me how...
Honestly, i don't know who you are, now. You are unpredictable.
I don't know how to trust you anymore. Because I don't know which part is true and which part you're lying.
I hate this, A!
Why you did this shit to me?

Are you happier with her, now?
Can she give and be everything you want? 
If she is the girl that you've been looking for, fine. Just tell me, I'll be happy for you.
But, why don't you tell me? why you have to keep it from me?
One day, I hope you look back at what we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end.

You know, some people said that, You know you really love someone is when all you want is for their happiness, even without you. Yeah, that's sucks. But, i know, that's what true love is.
I really want you to have a good life and be happy. And you know, God wants it too.
I've told you, don't waste your time with something that not bring you better. 
I don't know what you feel and what you think, I hope you choose what best for you. 


Don't you know, I still love you?
But I know we won't be the same.
How about you? What do you feel about me?

 

 
 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Who do you think you are?

Baru kemaren ngepost tentang moving on, eh skrg tau kenyataan pait lainnya.
Gue tau, cepat atau lambat semua akan kebuka. Dan gue harus udah bisa terima itu dari sekarang.
Kalo mau jujur, YOU HURT ME A LOT.
Sadar atau enggak, sengaja atau enggak, yes you did

Why? Am I doing something wrong? 
What do you want?
And Who do you think you are?!?

I'm really sad knowing you like this.
This is what you really want? I don't think so.  I know who you were. 
Grow up! You are 21! 
Katanya mo serius? Katanya mo benerin hidup?
I tell you, you are wasting your time!
well, that's your choice. 
You have power to choose what you want to do in your life.
Have fun. Take your time.
I just hope you still have chance to prove what you really want, at least to your self.


Friday, August 3, 2012

move on

 

Yeah! I'm moving on.
I might not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.
I'm okay and I'm on my way!
It doesn't mean I forget you, I just try to live without you. 
Seems you don't need me anymore, why should I?