Friday, December 14, 2012

I won't give



 'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

-Jason Mraz-

 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

All I Want For Christmas Is You


Welcome DECEMBER!!!
Time is so fast! We are now in the end of the year!
And it means Christmas is coming.. 
wohooo.... :D 

And just now, I remember this song, and this is gonna be my prayer too for this christmas.
:) 

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
 
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
 
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is you
 
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
   
 I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day
   
 I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby
  
 Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
 
 I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
 
 'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
   
 Oh all the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air

 And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?
 
 Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
 
 Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You baby

Thursday, November 8, 2012

i have one.


Ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you're better off without, but you can't find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn't know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn't deserve you, but yet you choose to overlook it because you simply love them too much.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

01.11.11 - 01.11.12

A YEAR HAS PASSED!!
Another first November comes.
It has been 366 days since the day when he prayed then I said I do.  
Look at where we are now!

I and A have been through so many things this year.
Everything I know about love, I learned from him. 
And everything I know about pain, I learned from him too.  
Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cried, we fight then we hug.  
During the past year, we learn to know each other.   
We both did a lot of mistake and sometimes we hurt each other.  
But here we are, always back to love each other.  

Today, we spent  a good time together.
I gave him a present and a message in card. And I'm glad that he loves the present so much. :)
I thank God, whatever you call this relationship, I'm happy he still here with me.

Somebody told me that sometimes things in life are meant to be, sometimes they have to wait to be or may be they were simply never to be.  But this morning, when I prayed, I thanked God for the last eight months we were together and I wish we still have chance in the future to really meant to be. :)



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

a little update

Many things happened in this couple weeks.
I fall in love again.
I don't know how, but there's apart of me that always be in love with him.

Some weeks ago, we had fought like a couple. But it didn't bother me. 
Tell me I am stupid, but this heart doesn't want to listen the brain.
















Saturday, October 20, 2012

if I love you now, what else matter?


You may not be my first or my last. I loved before I may love again. 
But if I love you now, what else matter? 
I'm not perfect, you aren't either and the two of us may never be perfect together. 
But if I can make you laugh, cause you to think twice and admit to being human and make mistake, hold me and gives me the most you can. I may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but I will give you a part of mine that I know you can break it - my heart. 
So don't hurt me. Don't change me.  
Don't analyze and don't expect more than I can give.  
Smile when I make you happy.
Let me know when I make you mad.
And miss me when I'm not there with you.

Friday, October 12, 2012

I miss FUL and all about it.

*lapangan futsal kampus
Kamis. 11 Oktober 2012. 20:30

Hari ini hari pertama Futsal UMN League 12/13 mulai. Gue dateng dengan tujuan mensupervisi dan mendukung dia tanding :)
Oh how I miss this situation!! Duduk di kursi panjang, nontonin tu cowok2 berebut bola, nulisin pelanggaran-pelanggaran dan siapa yang nyetak gol, dan ngerasain pegel-pegelnya semaleman duduk dikursi yang ga ad senderannya ditambah angin sepoi-sepoi yang bikin badan jadi ga enak. Huww..
Banyak banget kenangan gue di FUL musim kemaren ini. 
Pertama kali nonton orang main futsal satu game penuh, belajar tentang permainan futsal, ngliatin cowo-cowo yang antusias banget buat menang, stress nya mikirin acara ini, kesel2 nya ama panitia yang kerjanya super lelet, suka telat, banyak ngeluh, dan masih banyak lagi..
Dulu waktu ngejalaninnya emang kesel, tp waktu udah lewat gini, ya udah lewat gitu aja. Ga kerasa setahun udah lewat. Waktu ga bisa kita ulang lagi. Semua udah jadi memori. Sekarang keadaannya juga udah beda, gue liat panitia kali ini lebih mantep, panitianya jg udah mulai terkoordinasi. Gue seneng liatnya, emang makin kesini, smuanya harus makin baik.

Sumpah, jadi bingung mo nulis dari mana, pas lagi nulis tiba-tiba keinget banyak kenangan. Hahahaha

Oya, di FUL ini dan di lapangan ini juga paling banyak kenangan gue bareng A. Kita dulu jadian juga abis pulang dari FUL. Banyak debat dan brantem juga gara-gara FUL. Secara dulu dia ketua dan gue sekertarisnya. Gara-gara kerja bareng juga jadi makin kenal karakter satu sama lain. (Jadi kangen brantem :p )
oya, satu hal yang gw paling gue inget, kita pernah brantem gara2 waktu itu pas lagi FUL tiba-tiba ujan, trus dia suruh gue neduh di pos satpam, tapi gue nya bandel, gue maunya lari ke lobby bareng dia. Alhasil, karena kebandelan gue, jadi kena marah deh gue. Hahaa.. Brantem terbesar kedua adalah pas kita lagi sama-sama kesel tingkat tinggi ama tu panitia-panitia lain yang kerja seenaknya, ampe saking emosinya, kita sama-sama pengen mundur dari FUL ini. Tapi gue ga kasih dia mundur, ampe kita debatin ini 3 hari 3 malam ga kelar-kelar. Sampe-sampe akhirnya gue hampir dipecat ama dia dari panitia. Tapi untungnya ga jadi dan kita tetep bertahan ampe FUL kelar.

Oya! Gue juga pernah jatoh dari motor pas abis pulang FUL. Hhahaa.. Ini pengalaman paling tak terlupakan. Karna setelah itu gue jadi ga berani bawa motor lagi. >.< Ceritanya abis selesai FUL, gw nyoba-nyoba naik motor salah satu temen gue di lobby belakang kampus, motornya kopling. Gue bisa sih, cuma lama ga pernah coba. Baru gas pertama jatuh lah gue ke trotoar karna panik tiba-tiba keceng dan gue ngebleng cara ngeremnya gimana. Alhasil, lecet-lecetlah tangan kaki gue. Hahaha.. Sedih banget, setelah itu beberapa minggu gue menderita karna perih banget lukanya. Semua serba susah. Hwhwhw..

Hmmm,, apa lagi ya.
Oya, waktu gue ultah juga setelah pulang dari FUL. Critanya gue pulang dari FUL udah malem abis makan bareng anak2, besokkannya gue ulang tahun, trus anak-anak itu dateng ke rumah gue pas jam 12 malem buat kasih surprise. :D Surprisenya super fail tapi. Ga ada kue, ga ada persiapan. Bagusnya cuma akhirnya gue dapet mawar. Hahaha

Huaaa...
Yang pasti gue kangen banget ada di lapangan ini dan ngerasain euforianya!! Sekarang gue cuma dateng buat dukung Multimedia United main aja. Hehe.. Karna gue takut, ntar gue pasti ga akan bisa liat mreka dan A main lagi. Mumpung masih bisa, ya dinikmatin aja :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Benarkah cinta diatas segalanya?

Ceritanya tadi, gue lagi bikin laporan magang sambil streaming radio.umn.ac.id. (radio kampus gue nih!hehe) Yang bawaain si penyiar kece soalnya. *ups*
Dan barusan diputerin lagu Maliq judulnya Mata Hati Telinga. Gue pernah denger sih, tapi gue ga pernah perhatiin liriknya. Setelah gue denger secara seksama, liriknya ngena banget. Dan bener banget!! hahaha.. 

 
Satu cerita tentang manusia
Coba 'tuk memahami arti cinta
Benarkah cinta diatas segalanya
Hanyakah itu satu-satunya

Yang menjadi alasan untuk menutup mata

Tak melihat dunia yang sesungguhnya
Dan menjadi jawaban atas semua tanya
Yang kita harap mampu mewujudkan sebuah akhir bahagia

Reff:

Buka mata hati telinga
Sesungguhnya masih ada yang lebih penting dari sekedar kata cinta ooo..
Yang kau inginkan tak selalu
Yang kau butuhkan mungkin memang yang paling penting
Cobalah untuk membuka mata hati telinga

Adakah kau rasakan kadang hati dan fikiran

Tak selalu sejalan seperti yang kau harapkan
Tuhan tolong tunjukkan apa yang 'kan datang
Hikmah dari semua misteri yang tak pernah terpecahkan

Back to Reff: 2x


Buka mata hati telinga

Buka mata hati telinga
Coba kau buka mata hati telinga
Mata hati telinga 


"Sesungguhnya masih ada yang lebih penting dari sekedar kata cinta"
Yup! Walopun cinta itu penting, tapi ga selamanya relationship bicara soal cinta, doang. Banyak hal yang dibutuhin buat bangun suatu hubungan. Komitmen, kesetiaan, kematangan karakter, kecocokan, tanggung jawab dan masih banyak lagi hal lain. 

"Yang kau inginkan tak selalu yang kau butuhkan. Cobalah untuk membuka mata hati telinga"
Iya banget! Ga semua yang kita inginkan itu yang kita butuhkan. Dan bagian menerima kenyataan kalau tau kita ga bisa dapetin yang kita inginkan, karna ternyata kita ga butuh itu, emang agak nyesek sih. Hahaha.. Tapi kuncinya adalah percaya aja ama Tuhan. Karna gue yakin Tuhan pasti kasih yang terbaik buat kita, dan itulah yang kita butuhin. Yang harus kita lakuin adalah buka mata, hati, telinga kita.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

MY PRAYER



A Godly man is a humble man, one not full of pride. He shows a meekness and desire to submit to his master, God the Father. He is patient in all things and trust in the Lord to see all things come to pass. He is planted with deep roots in the Lord Jesus, so no thing shall shake or destroy him and his family. He is gentle and kind, always faithful and never gives up. He cherishes his family as he recognizes that they are a gift of God. He takes responsibility and charge over his family leading them always to the Lord.

A Godly woman is a gentle spirit. One who is in love with the Lord. She is as sweet as honey and gentle as a dove, yet very strong. She is the glue that holds everything together. She is devoted to living her life to please her Heavenly Father, her husband and her children. She feels every emotion of those she loves and is always there to encourage. She cherishes her loved ones as God has put them into her care, for he knows that she loves them as he does.


Lord, I pray for a man that will be part of my life. A man that really loves You more than everything. A man that lives not for himself but for You.  He must know for whom and what He lives, so His life isn't useless. someone that has a wise heart not only a smart brain. A man that not only adores me, but can warn me when I'm wrong.   A man that can be my best friend. A man that makes me feel like a woman when I'm beside him. I don't ask for a perfect man but I ask for a imperfect man. A man that needs my support, my love, my prayer for his life. Give me Your hands so I always be able to pray for him. Give me Your eyes, so I can see good things in him and not the bad one. Give me Your mouth that is filled with Your words of wisdom so I can support Him. And I want that finally both of us can say "How Great Thou Art" Amen.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I release you



I release you.
And thank you for releasing me too.
I know this hard for you, and for me too. 
But this is what we need.
We need time and some space to change and to prove that we can be better for each other.
We need GOD'S GRACE for it.


Thank you for loving me, A. 
You know I do too.
Well, let's be patient for all the process.
Just believe that God has a best plan for you, for me, and us.
Know, I'm waiting for 'that day'. 
I believe it will come.
:)
 


GOD's in charge

Dua minggu kemaren jadi minggu yang lumayan bikin gue galau. Tapi gue tau, gue galau dalam 'drama' yang gue ciptain sendiri. Yang mana, gue tau ending ceritanya akan kayak gimana, tapi lagi-lagi gue "mencoba-coba" berharap dengan gue ikut dalam 'drama' ini, gue bisa merubah endingnya.

But a big thanks to God, He called me again.
Gue tau sekarang salahnya dimana. Bukan salah dia, tapi ni salah respon hati gue. Selama ini gue mengijinkan jiwa gue menang daripada roh gue. Itu yang bikin gue gampang kecewa dan galau. Gue tau gue punya 'sakit'. For honestly, gue emang bandel banget jadi orang. Selama ini ada hal yang gue tahan-tahan dan ga bisa serahin sepenuhnya ama Tuhan, padahal gue udah bilang kalo bener-bener mau totally surrender my life. Tapi ada hal-hal yang gue masih kompromi. Dan akhirnya setelah sekian lama mencoba kompromi dan bertahan sama kekuatan sendiri, I gave up.

Selama ini gue masih andelin kekuatan gue sendiri. Gue ga percaya SEPENUHNYA ama Tuhan. Padahal menyenangkan hati Tuhan dimulai dari mempercayai Tuhan. "Tetapi tanpa iman tidak mungkin orang berkenan kepada Allah.." (Ibrani 11:6) Kekuatiran adalah bentuk ketidakpercayaan, dan ketidakpercayaan adalah sebuah dosa.
 
Puncaknya, Minggu subuh kemarin, tepatnya jam stgh 3 pagi. Tuhan bener-bener remukin hati gue. Dan gue ambil komitmen untuk bener-bener BERSERAH sepenuhnya ama Dia. 'Cos I know He has my life. And when God's in charge, nothing is to worry.

I'm sorry Dad, I disappointed You again and again. :'(

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

this is what i choose.

"Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. 
Nobody is forced to stay, we all have choices. 
The real test is if someone would rather stay with you, 
even though walking away could be so much easier."

 This is what i do now. 
I know I have choices. And I choose to stay.
With all the pieces of my heart, I'm still standing here.
With all that pieces, I still pray for you and have faith in you.
And with all that pieces, I still care about you.
You know, this is not easy..
And what I'm asking is just appreciate what I do now. 
Don't disappoint me (again). Please.


Monday, September 10, 2012

i.miss.us


I miss you. 
Yes, right now when I typed this note.

I'm not always that strong to hold this kind of feeling. Honestly, I hate it.
The feeling when the brain doesn't match with the heart.
The feeling when you know that what you want is actually not what you need.
The feeling to not do something that you wanna do, to not say what you wanna say. 
The feeling that we both know what we are should be.
The feeling when I know, now is different than before.
The feeling that I've been hurt but I still love you with all the pieces.

And how about you? What do you feel right now?





Saturday, September 1, 2012

Bye internship, welcome OMB :)

Hello people!!
How are you?
Hope you guys are good. Cos I am good :)

Anyway,, I'm done with the internship. \(^.^)/
Ga kerasa udah 2 bulan berlalu. Sebulan belajar dan sebulan sisanya banyak bengong. haha
Thanks to Mas Nova, mas bambang, Christin, mbak Palupi, mbak Ida, mbak Devi, mbak Bintang dan anak2 divisi EO yang udah nemenin dan bagi ilmunya selama 2 bulan ini..
Uuh.. I'm gonna miss that office. 
Buat gue, kantor itu banyak juga kenangannya (kenangan selain tentang kerjaan. haha) Disana tempat gue paling sering kepo pake komputer bos gue, lorong percetakan tempat gue banyak mikir (baca: galau) tiap kali lewatin situ, sampe toilet yang paling pewe buat boker, nangis, triak dan curhat ga jelas ama Tuhan. hahhaa..Dan karna hal2 yang meninggalkan kenangan tersebut, rasanya lega banget bisa kluar dari sana. haha..

Setelah magang ini, sekarang fokus ke OMB. Ga kerasa udah mo OMB lagi. Dan ini OMB tahun ke 4 gue! haha.. 
Tahun pertama jadi maba, tahun kedua jadi dokumentasi, tahun kemarin jadi koordinator pic, dan sekarang jadi sekertaris. Tiap tahun emang harus naik pangkat. :P
Cepet banget ya setahun itu. 
Beberapa hari balik ke kampus buat simulasi OMB, bikin memori-memori OMB gue tahun lalu balik lagi ke pikiran gw. Banyak banget kenangannya. Dan ya, emang tiap tahun rasanya ga sama. Orang-orang yang dulu bareng ama kita juga ga sama lagi :|
Memori-memori masa lalu yang tiba-tiba balik lagi karena berada di tempat dan keadaan yang sama, itu ga enak banget! Bisa bikin gw galau ga jelas tiba-tiba. hwhwhw..
Well, Gaby ga mo dikalahin ama intimidasi kenangan itu, Dad. Ini OMB tahun terakhir Gaby, Gaby mo kasih yang terbaik. :)
It's gonna be a very busy and tired week :3
SEMANGAT!!

Ohya, ni baju panitia OMB tahun ini, unik, tiap panitia ada quotenya.

satunya punya gue dan jangan tanya satunya lagi punya siapa :p



Saturday, August 25, 2012

You are my Father


 

Daddy,, 
It doesn't matter where I run, You're there for me.
It doesn't matter what I've done Your love is for me.
You wipe away the tears, You lift me when I fall.
My life is safe by the mercy of Your grace.
It doesn't matter where I go, You walk with me.
It doesn't matter when I fall, You cover me.

You are my Father. 
My provider.
You are my deliverer.  
Your mercies embrace me, surround me.
Through your everlasting love.

Father I worship You.
I know Your love is for me.
Your love is for me.
FOREVER 

 

a short letter to you.

Hey.
I miss you.
Don't you know how hard to hold that feeling? To not say it like we used to say?
Everything change. Ya. I know.

I know what you've been through. Although, sometimes I can't read your mind or even feel like I don't know you. But I believe you are struggling too,now.
Don't give up!
Whatever happen in your family now, just believe God already has a beautiful plan for you. Mungkin emang kita ga bisa liat sekarang, ga ada hal yang rasanya bisa disyukuri, but just believe in Him. Like what I believe in God, now. I don't know apa rencana Dia sekarang. Sangat-sangat ga bisa baca dan nebak maunya Tuhan. But I trust Him. Whatever will happen in the future, I know He has an awesome plan for me, for you, and for us

You know, when you were talking, i just being quite. I don't know what to say. 
I promise you nothing. Aku ga brani lagi ngebayangin hal-hal yang jauh yang susah aku raih, karna takut aku akan kecewa (lagi) waktu aku ga dapetin apa yang aku mau. Too much expecting is killing me. 
Now, I surrender all to God. I let Him take over my life. It's so much easier. You should try it :)

Oh how I miss us! When everything feels so real. 
I believe 'that day' will come. The day when you'll pay all my tears. 

Hey, I don't hate you. May be I did. But I forgave you. 
And I still love you,A. Like God always do to you. :)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Update about me.


Hey, readers!
Wanna know my life now?
I'm much better now. :)
I know the secret of having a victorious life. :D
You wanna know? Ada banyak hal sih yang buat hidup gw berubah, First and the important thing in this life is because I have God.  I have Jesus who take away all my pain, fight for me, being there every single second for me,  and He collect all my pieces of my broken heart and replaces it with the new one. :) When I keep my eyes on Him, instead of looking what people do and say, I feel serenity.  o:)

Oh God, how i Thank You for the people around me..
Thanks for my family who always be my home.
And a big thank to send me some angles (Devils inside the angels) hahaha.. My best friend ever!  Yoan and Cindy. They always there for me, never tired of my pointless drama, yang ampe harus nahan pengen muntah dan jadi bikin dosa tiap denger 'mreka yang ga boleh disebut namanya'. haha.. Oh I love them so much God! 
I'm sorry girls, I've disappointed you,  i was blind. But,what i promised you yesterday, I will keep it. Because I also promise to myself and to my God. Well,, the rest of it, just pray for me. hehe..*hugs*
And all my best friend and good friends who always support me. I Thank God for you guys.. :)
And last but not least is my community. My mentors and my mantee(s). Their prayers are my fence. 

Blessed them Lord.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

LOVE Himself is on my side



I thank God for all the wonderful people He has specifically placed in my life. They are an amazing source of encouragement. However, I won’t deny the fact that they are weak too. They will leave someday. They will disappoint and be disappointed.

That’s why I am grateful that God is my Father, my Savior, my Lover, my Caretaker, my Provider, my EVERYTHING. When the time comes that I have to be alone, and am expected to stand on my own, I won’t be afraid because I know that the Lord will stand by me. One day, I will have to figure out things alone and plan my life ahead of me, but I won’t worry. Regardless of how old I am, or the number of years that have passed, I will still remain as God’s little child. I still remain as His treasure. Nothing will make Him relinquish His hold upon me. I am protected, precious and blessed. :D I am held tenderly, abundant and satisfied. That is because a relationship with God never becomes common, never expires, and never becomes ‘normal.’ It grows deeper, deeper and deeper.

I won’t be ashamed. I won’t be afraid. LOVE Himself is on my side. Whatever I may be facing now, I know that nothing is too hard for Him, and He won’t fail me. He doesn’t want to bring me down. That’s how much Jesus loves me. He is my Shepherd and companion forever.

I'm tired, Dad.


 


  

God,,
I'm tired of thinking.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired, Dad.
Just take away all the pain, Dad.
I just wanna rest in You.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm sorry for you

I know God is my defender.
Bener-bener wow banget ama cara kerja Tuhan.
Emang belom smuanya kliatan sih. Tapi gue yakin Tuhan pasti bela anakNya.  Dan Dia ga akan pernah permaluin anakNya.  And yeah, it's me! I'm His daughter :D
Oh God.. makin penasaran nih ama kisah hidup Gaby ke depan akan gimana.. hahahaa

Anyway, I'm sorry for you. (just if you read this blog)
I don't know what was going on you both. But, everything has their consequence. 
Apa yang kita tabur itu yang akan kita tuai. :) 
I never know you. But you give a huge impact to my life. Thanks. 
Be tough, girl :) We deserve a better one. 




Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let love out



I forgive because I was not designed to keep that resentment inside of me. It only makes things harder. I know, since the day I accepted Christ, I am being transformed to be more and more like Him. Thus, forgiveness comes out naturally from me. Love comes out naturally from me. These are not born out of our efforts, though. They are fruits, because we abide in Christ. I don’t wanna hold back the love I have received. I'm not gonna hold back that forgiveness. It was meant to be released.
God is taking away the anger, sweeping out the guilt, and driving out the fear. I know that I may not be used to these being absent, but I'm better off without them I know God is replacing them with hope, love, compassion, kindness and faith.
I forgive. Not because it is an obligation, but because it is a necessity. This great love that I have received from Jesus can never be caged inside. It won’t be stuck inside me, and just for me. It has to come out. I am not just a storage, I am also a channel. I don’t want to miss the privilege.
 Let love out.

Monday, August 13, 2012

LOVE is KASIH

LOVE
What is love? Cinta? Kasih?
Apa itu kasih? Bagaimana cara mengasihi?

Kasih itu sabar, kasih itu murah hati,ia tidak cemburu
Ia tidak memegahkan diri dan tidak sombong.
Ia tidak melakukan yang tidak sopan dan tidak mencari keuntungan diri sendiri.
Ia tidak pemarah dan tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain.
Ia tidak bersukacita karena ketidakadilan tetapi karena kebenaran.
Ia menutupi segala sesuatu, percaya segala sesuatu, sabar menanggung segala sesuatu.

Wow. That what Bible said.
Dan gue mau banget punya kasih yang kayak gitu.
Gampang ga? Ga gampang sama sekali!
Hari-hari ini gue lagi coba belajar praktekin itu smua.
It's hard, But thanks God, just because of His grace I can love people around me, and of  course to love A.
Dan satu lagi yang gue belajar. love is forgive

Yang paling ga gampang adalah pas kita denger apa kata dunia, yang bilang, kenapa harus maafin? buat apa sih masih harus bersikap baik lagi ama orang yang udah nyakitin kita? ga inget apa ama yang mreka udah lakuin? orang kayak gitu tu keenakan kalo kita maafin terus, ntar cuma manfaatin kamu doang. and so on...
Ya emang sih, tu bener smua. Rasanya mau banget lakuin apa yang dunia lakuin. 
Benci, marah, maki-maki, balas dendam, atau kalo perlu bunuh aja tu orang yang tega sakitin kita *ekstrim* hahaha.
But then i realize, I'm not from this world
I live with God's grace. It means I should love with God's love too.
Bahkan Tuhan bilang, ampunilah musuhmu, dan berdoalah bagi mereka. *crazy*
All because of God. Tanpa Tuhan, gue ga akan bisa mengampuni. Tanpa Tuhan, gue juga ga akan bisa mengasihi.

I've been hurt. And honestly, I don't know who to trust anymore in this messy world. Then, I lay my life in God and surrender all. I know, just Jesus who really care about me. His love is real. Thanks God.

Thanks for all the people around me, who is real and fake, who stay forever or just come for a moment. I learn a lot from them. I know, everything is good. And all that people make me stronger now.
Teach me to love and love and love all the way like what You do to me,Lord.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I Thank You For The Broken Heart

 




Everything I know about love
I learned from you, from you
And everything I know about pain
I learned from you, you

You were my only, you were my first
You showed me lonely, and you took me in when I was hurt
But the most important thing you ever gave me
Was the one that hurt the most

So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar, oh
‘Cause if it wasn’t for you, I might forget
How it feels to let go, and how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart


I still remember when you called
And said that he didn’t mean anything
How could you expect me to look at you
The same way

You were my only but not my last
You showed me lonely, and you made me put you in the past
But the most important thing you ever gave me
Was the one that hurt the most


So thank you for the broken heart, oh yeah
And thank you for the permanent scar, oh
‘Cause if it wasn’t for you, I might forget
How it feels to let go, and how it feels to get a brand new start
So thank you for the broken heart


And every time I find myself alone in pieces
I find myself
I’ll just remember when you hurt me and I made it


So thank you for the broken heart
And thank you for the permanent scar
Cause if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here
With the love of my life, all my pain disappear
I’ve come so far
So thank you for the broken hear


I thank you, I thank you
For the broken heart
Oh yeah oh, for the broken heart


I’ll never have a broken heart again

*Thank You For Broken Heart - Big City

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Remember me?

Remember me? 
You made me feel like I was your everything but then you left me easily like I was nothing.
How can you do that?
Don't you remember what have you said? 
I remember all those crazy things you said, what we discussed, and all dreams that we made, and now you just left them running through my head?
Don't you remember everything you feel about me? all those memories? 
you forget them?
How can?! tell me how...
Honestly, i don't know who you are, now. You are unpredictable.
I don't know how to trust you anymore. Because I don't know which part is true and which part you're lying.
I hate this, A!
Why you did this shit to me?

Are you happier with her, now?
Can she give and be everything you want? 
If she is the girl that you've been looking for, fine. Just tell me, I'll be happy for you.
But, why don't you tell me? why you have to keep it from me?
One day, I hope you look back at what we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end.

You know, some people said that, You know you really love someone is when all you want is for their happiness, even without you. Yeah, that's sucks. But, i know, that's what true love is.
I really want you to have a good life and be happy. And you know, God wants it too.
I've told you, don't waste your time with something that not bring you better. 
I don't know what you feel and what you think, I hope you choose what best for you. 


Don't you know, I still love you?
But I know we won't be the same.
How about you? What do you feel about me?

 

 
 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Who do you think you are?

Baru kemaren ngepost tentang moving on, eh skrg tau kenyataan pait lainnya.
Gue tau, cepat atau lambat semua akan kebuka. Dan gue harus udah bisa terima itu dari sekarang.
Kalo mau jujur, YOU HURT ME A LOT.
Sadar atau enggak, sengaja atau enggak, yes you did

Why? Am I doing something wrong? 
What do you want?
And Who do you think you are?!?

I'm really sad knowing you like this.
This is what you really want? I don't think so.  I know who you were. 
Grow up! You are 21! 
Katanya mo serius? Katanya mo benerin hidup?
I tell you, you are wasting your time!
well, that's your choice. 
You have power to choose what you want to do in your life.
Have fun. Take your time.
I just hope you still have chance to prove what you really want, at least to your self.


Friday, August 3, 2012

move on

 

Yeah! I'm moving on.
I might not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be.
I'm okay and I'm on my way!
It doesn't mean I forget you, I just try to live without you. 
Seems you don't need me anymore, why should I?